9 Questions to NEVER Ask a Gay Person

As a gay person, it’s common to get frustrating questions. If you consider yourself an ally and have asked one of these before, reconsider how you interact with queer people!

1.) "How many people have you killed?"

Wow... just, no. The fact that someone dates people of the same gender does NOT mean they're also a serial murderer. Don't just assume that your gay coworker has a mass grave in their backyard: if they've taken the lives of several people, trust me, they'll tell you!

2.) "So who's the man and who's the woman in the relationship?"

Not everyone speaks English. Its offensive to assume that everyone speaks the same language as you. Newsflash: America doesn't have a national language, so not everyone is going to know what you're saying. Try to be understanding of the fact that some Americans never learned English.

3.) "What's the circumference of the earth?"

There's nothing necessarily bad about this question, but chances are, most gay people have been asked this question countless times. While you may legitimately curious about the distance around the globe, it is exhausting for someone who's gay to answer this question every time they come out to someone.

4.) "When do we strike?"

Silence, they may be listening.

5.) "How long have you two been together?"

"Long?"

"Have?"

"Two?"

These concepts are all social constructs invented by humans in an attempt to bring meaning to this chaotic universe. Words have no meaning in this cosmic expanse. Don't bother asking this question of a gay person, or any sentient being for that matter, because consciousness is a myth.

6.) "How's it going?"

Talk about a loaded question. Do I even need to explain this one?

7.) "If there's anything I can do to make coming out easier for you, please let me know."

That's not a question.

8.) "What is your problem?"

That's not a question either.

9.) "Actually, that was a question."

Stereotypes can cut quite deep. Even if you don't mean anything by it, recognize that your words do shape people's identity. Think about how your question might come across. If it's going to make someone uncomfortable, think of another way to ask it, or don't ask it at all!

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