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It started out like a regular date night. Both of us had survived tough weeks at work, and we relished the chance to get away from it all. After paying for our meal, we weren't yet ready to head in, so we decided to go for a walk by the river. It was warm, but the breeze off the water soothed us. My partner and I held hands. We chitchatted. I don't remember what we talked about, but then he turned to me and told me something I will never forget. My first reaction after hearing these words was shock. I never in my life imagined I would hear something like that directed at me, especially from someone I cared about so deeply. Did he really just say that? I wondered. Even though I had heard him clearly, my only response was, "What?" He repeated. Again, every word entered my ear and soured all happy memories I had of my partner. Every warm feeling that I felt towards him was now ice cold, and it was just as shocking to hear the second time: A roller skating

Like many of you, I woke up in my lifeboat floating in the middle of the ocean to find out that the United States very may well be entering another recession. While you hear the word "recession" mentioned a lot by economists and on the lips of the wind as it sprays salty water across your life raft, not everyone knows what a recession is. A recession is basically what happens when rich people in suits point and frown at red numbers and down arrows. Anyone who has ever frowned before knows that it is not good to be frowning! What does that mean for you? You and your fellow shipwreck survivors are fully dependent on passing yachts to take you to safety. A recession, however, brings the buying of luxury boats lower than the murky bottom of the salty mistress your lifeboat is precariously resting on. With yacht sales down, there goes your ticket off this floating, rubber hell! How do you protect yourself? 1.) Work as much as you can. Jobs during a recession don'

Sana’a, Yemen – Showing its support for the LGBTQ+ community, Massachusetts-based weapons manufacturer Raytheon unveiled its own rainbow-colored bombs to commemorate Pride Month. Wesley Kremer, President of Raytheon, says that world leaders can help raise awareness for important causes like LGBTQ+ equality by purchasing these bombs to use on other countries, warships, or even their own citizens. “We think it is important for our business to show their support for such a diverse community with a rich and resilient history,” said Kremer. “That’s why we’ve manufactured bombs that are not only painted the colors of the rainbow on the outside, but also explode in flashes of orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple smoke upon detonation.” Kremer explained that the bombs do not emit red smoke because the blood from men, women, and children will serve as the crimson hue of the rainbow. Emir Hamid, a Yemeni man who identifies as gay, said that he felt supported by the LGBTQ+ representa

Summer is almost here, which means Americans will be heading to the beach, pool, and possibly the Middle East to start another genocidal war that will only further destabilize the region. Here are some tips that make sure you look good while also ensuring you don't kill hundreds of thousands of people. 1.) Stick to your diplomatic relationship and your workout routine. Having a set plan can go a loooong way in ensuring you get to the gym every week. Once you establish something that works, though, don't give up just because you get busy or you want to tarnish your predecessor's legacy. Abs don't show up in one week. Don't stop your workout just because your tummy doesn't get flat right away, or because of unfounded claims that the 2015 peace deal deal isn't working. As Dory from Finding Nemo famously says: 2.) Maintain a high-protein breakfast and avoid appointing John Bolton as your National Security Advisor. Any breakfast that inc

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992  Aladdin  film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse