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Who said it: Donald Trump, or an old mattress behind the abandoned Holiday Inn?






1.) "Thank you so much, New Hampshire! I am not an old mattress behind the abandoned Holiday Inn."

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This quote can be attributed to Donald Trump, which he said after winning the New Hampshire primary in February.











2.) "I am a real human man born from a human woman, my mother."

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This one also goes to Donald Trump, which he said to a crowd of enthusiastic supporters while caucusing in Iowa.







 


3.) "This deal with Iran makes me even madder than the time the manager tossed me out the back door of the hotel as it was being shut down. I was a human at the time, and I have always been a human."
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Donald Trump, again, criticizing President Obama's treaty with Iran.








4.) "You should vote for me because no other mattress - I mean man - is willing to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out."

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Donald Trump said this as he announced his candidacy for President of the United States.








5.) "Whatever you do, do not listen to the man claiming to be Donald Trump. I am the real Donald Trump - at least I used to be. When I was just seven, an old witch transferred my consciousness into this old mattress, and the old mattress's consciousness into my body. The old mattress has been masquerading as me - Donald Trump - for over sixty years!"

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Did you guess an old mattress behind the abandoned Holiday Inn? If you did, you were right!








6.) "I own over five trillion hotels."

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Yes, that's Donald Trump, speaking at his grandfather's funeral.





 


7.) "Quickly, we only have until the setting of the harvest moon! After that, I won't be able to speak as I will have returned to the form of an old mattress behind the abandoned Holiday Inn. To reverse the spell you must gather three pebbles from beneath the tallest oak tree in the forest and force the fake Donald Trump to swallow them. Only then can I return to my body and defeat the old hag after all these years."

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Another one from the old mattress behind the abandoned Holiday Inn, just as the harvest moon was beginning to fall behind the trees.








8.) "We are gonna make America [SQUEEEEEAK ... BOIOIOIOIOING ... SQUEEEEEAK ... BOIOIOIOIOING] again!"

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If you didn't get this one, maybe you should turn on a TV! That's Donald Trump with his famous campaign slogan.










9.) "It doesn't matter what size the pebbles are, they just have to be small enough to fit into his mouth."

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An old mattress said this, as it was sitting behind the abandoned Holiday Inn.




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