Web-site musings

 It's a trend that is sweeping the nation, yet no one seems to enjoy it... "adulting" has been seen on screen in movies, films, and cinema pictures for as long as we can remember. Famous adults such as Tyler Perry, Oprah's mom, and JonBenet Ramsey have grabbed the nation's attention, b ut has "adulting" really ever been talked about? Read below to find out how to make yourself (at least appear) a little more grown up. 1.) Dating Now that you're an adult, there's a lot of pressure to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with. It's not like the movies though - you can't just latch onto a handsome space-traveler's face and inject him with your spawn like in the movie  Sleepless in Seattle . Trust me, I wish it were that easy! A major part of adulting is realizing that you're not going to turn the corner and find "the one" who will mate with you, decapitate you, and devour your head. It takes time, pati...

1.) "Thank you so much, New Hampshire! I am not an old mattress behind the abandoned Holiday Inn." ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? This quote can be attributed to Donald Trump, which he said after winning the New Hampshire primary in February. 2.) " I am a real human man born from a human woman, my mother." ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? This one also goes to Donald Trump, which he said to a crowd of enthusiastic supporters while caucusing in Iowa.   3.) "This deal with Iran makes me even madder than the time the manager tossed me out the back door of the hotel as it was being shut down. I was a human at the time, and I have always been a human." ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ...

The Force Awakens is very likely the most anticipated movie since Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 , so it has a lot to live up to. With a cast of returning characters such as Chewbacca "Chewie" Johnson (played by Mark Ruffalo's feet), and C3PO (played by Julie Andrews), the movie has the challenge of balancing time between the "Space Fighters" we know and love and newcomers to the saga, villain Kylo Ren (played by Mark Ruffalo from the knees up and Martin Mull below the knees), and space mail carrier turned space baker Bette Midler (playing herself). As Darth Vader himself would say, "Yowza! We sure are in fer a wild ride, ain't we!" The film opens with an action sequence: laser guns shooting at space ships, space ships shooting at planets that are actually grapes from a ginormous picnic basket, and terrified space people yelling "LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A SPACE SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER SPACE SHIP!!!!!!!!!!!...

T is for Thankful, which I am. H is for Happy, which I also am. A is for A great day, which I will have. N  is for Numbers, which I use to count things I'm thankful for. K is for Turkey, which I like to eat.  S is for Sweat potatoes, which are sweat.  G is for Give, the "Pilgrims' Way."  I is for "I love Thanksgiving," which I say. V is for Velocity, the rate of change of an object's position with respect to a frame of reference. M is for "Mashed potatoes!" which I exclaim when I eat cranberry sauce. C is for Corn, my favorite character on FRIENDS. R is for Rachel, my second favorite character on FRIENDS. S is for Stuffing, the most delicious holiday treat.

THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS by Seth Miller Scene 23 Dark forest, late at night. There is snow on the ground. A baby reindeer emerges from behind a tree. A single tear falls down its face. It is sad because the liberal media has waged war on Christmas and murdered its family. There is the faint sound of a snowmobile in the distance. The reindeer perks up and listens. As the snowmobile gets closer the reindeer scampers away. Close up on Joe Fyter. His face is bruised, beaten, but in his eyes there is determination. He is driving the same snowmobile that Saint Nicholas gave to him just before he was gunned down by politically correct corporate America. FLASHBACK to SANTA CLAUS on the floor of the shopping mall, spitting up blood SANTA : Save... Christmas... JOE : ( shaking his head ) We can do it together. You and me, we can save Christmas together. SANTA : No... it has to be... it has to be you, Joe Fyter... JOE : You'll get through this, damn it! SANTA : No... my ...

Yes.

It was the 1930s and I was in my house in Alabama. Jem came down the stairs and said, "Hey Jean Louise, remember when we learned a valuable lesson about not killing birds?" "Please, call me Scout," I said, "And yes. We also we learned to not be racist." "There are probably no more lessons to be learned," said Jem. Boy, was he wrong. There was a knock at the door and I opened it. It was Boo Radley. "Hi guys, it's me, Boo Radley," said Boo Radley. "Hi Boo, thank you for killing that man who was trying to hurt us in order to take revenge against our father, an honorable lawyer," I said. "Any time," said Boo. "Even though I seem strange I am still a good person." "That's true," said Jem. "So Boo, what brings you by our house?" I said. "I want to show you something that I worked very hard on," said Boo. "I am very interested," said Jem. "I am too,...