Web-site musings

Here are some of the good things that happened this year... what got number 1?? 10.)  Being on Ellen: Ellen was my housemate's hamster. I accidentally sat on her because I did not know she had gotten out of her cage and was hiding under our couch cushions. I have never killed anything that had a name, and it was a thrilling experience. I don't think I will kill anything with a name again, but I am glad I now know what it feels like to kill a hamster. 9.)  Getting a new job: I finally got a new, real job, at a company / organization in which I use my skills to provide a service / sell a product in a legitimate way. I am paying taxes at fair rate based on my income bracket. If anyone asks, I have a normal job and I am making money legally and ethically! 8.)  Finally figuring out that writing about popular topics can increase web traffic to my blog: Game Boy. The Secret Life of Pets Blue-Ray. iPhone 7. Hamilton soundtrack. Pokémon ...

I'll do my best! Haha 1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Glass 2. Where was your profile picture taken?  In an alternate reality where World War II never happened but also GoGurt was never invented 3. Do you play Pokemon Go?  Not anymore. I stopped playing because my Pokémons became self aware and started showing me their private parts 4. Name someone who made you laugh today? Lee Harvey Oswald 5. How late did you stay up last night?  Until blood began spilling from the moon 6. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be? On top of a yak 7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?  Only by shadows 8. Who is your most observant friend? Spuzzy Carmichael, concierge at the Seduct Inn. He sees it all! 9.Do you believe ex's can be friends? All my exes live in another realm where they do not have the capability of connecting to humans or understanding the concept of "friendship" 10. How do you feel ...

Dear Sir, You might not remember me. I would be surprised if you did, honestly, because I do not think I am that memorable. To you I was just another face in the crowd. Another body in a sea of other bodies that likely meant nothing to you. But I remember you. I remember you, unfortunately, because the word you yelled stayed with me for the rest of my day. It swam around in my head while I attempted to focus at work. It stuck to me while I took the bus home, like something on the bottom of my shoe. It clung to my skin even after a longer-than-usual shower. That word you yelled that day on the street ring in my ears even as I lay in my bed. "Taxi."  Two syllables were all it took for you to completely alter my day, and you did it without a thought. You called me a taxi, so you must think you know a lot about me. But the truth is, I know more about you from that one interaction then you will  ever  know about me. Perhaps your assumptions about me we...

Couples costumes are great, but not so much fun when you're single. Joint costumes often get all the attention on Halloween, but there are ways to shine without the need of a significant other. Here are some ways you can dress up this Halloween to prove to the world that you're just fine on your own. Yes, I'm fine, stop asking me. 1.) A Farmer This one is cute, but easy. All you'll need is a farmer's hat, a flannel that still smells like him, and maybe even some vegetables, like, say, tomatoes that you can throw at his house. You can just wear jeans with this costume, and bring an extra pair of your underwear that you can leave in his mailbox so he remembers what he lost.   2.) Zombie Princess Diana The prophesy did predict she would rise 20 years after her "death." All you have to do is stab some of your ex's Facebook friends with a tiara, wear that tiara, and you'll look just like the undead princess out for revenge against ...

1.) What are you going to do about poverty? Specifically, can I borrow $50?  2.) Why are trains so loud? 3.) Are you able to tap your head, rub your belly, and invade a foreign country at the same time?    4.) What will you do to work with Congress in order to tackle income inequality? -OR- How stinky and dumb is your opponent? 5.) Why did the makers of the board game Candyland change the name of the character Queen Frostine to Princess Frostine? Will you change it back? The decision made by the makers of the game makes absolutely no sense, as "Queen" pleasantly rhymes with "Frostine," and Candyland already had a resident princess (Lolly) before they changed Frostine's name. 6.) How will you make next year's Spring Formal better? This year's sucked and they played really dumb music. 7.) Have you seen my blue North Face? For a while I thought I'd left it at work, but I've checked the coat closet several times and ...

As a gay person, it’s common to get frustrating questions. If you consider yourself an ally and have asked one of these before, reconsider how you interact with queer people! 1 .) "How many people have you killed?" Wow... just, no. The fact that someone dates people of the same gender does NOT mean they're also a serial murderer. Don't just assume that your gay coworker has a mass grave in their backyard: if they've taken the lives of several people, trust me, they'll tell you! 2.)  " So who's the man and who's the woman in the relationship? " Not everyone speaks English. Its offensive to assume that everyone speaks the same language as you. Newsflash: America doesn't have a national language, so not everyone is going to know what you're saying. Try to be understanding of the fact that some Americans never learned English. 3.)  " What's the circumference of the earth? " There's nothin...

I don't post about myself on here very often, but it's important that I share a significant update in my life. I'm not sharing this so you feel sorry for me,  or look up to me, or even feel proud of me. I'm sharing this so others can hear my story, so that others going through something similar can know that they're not alone. I don't intend for this to be shocking, so I'm just going to say it now: I ate an entire ham by myself last Thursday. Simply typing those words out sent a wave of mixed emotions over me. On one hand, I'm relieved to get this off my chest. It feels freeing to share such a meaningful part of my life. On the other hand, it's terrifying, because now that everyone reading this knows I ate an entire ham by myself last Thursday I face the risk of experiencing judgment, strange looks, or whispers behind my back. Please know, however, that I am still me. I am still your family member, friend, work acquaintance, or whatever it is tha...

 It's a trend that is sweeping the nation, yet no one seems to enjoy it... "adulting" has been seen on screen in movies, films, and cinema pictures for as long as we can remember. Famous adults such as Tyler Perry, Oprah's mom, and JonBenet Ramsey have grabbed the nation's attention, b ut has "adulting" really ever been talked about? Read below to find out how to make yourself (at least appear) a little more grown up. 1.) Dating Now that you're an adult, there's a lot of pressure to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with. It's not like the movies though - you can't just latch onto a handsome space-traveler's face and inject him with your spawn like in the movie  Sleepless in Seattle . Trust me, I wish it were that easy! A major part of adulting is realizing that you're not going to turn the corner and find "the one" who will mate with you, decapitate you, and devour your head. It takes time, pati...