Skip to main content

Costume Ideas if You're Single this Halloween

Couples costumes are great, but not so much fun when you're single. Joint costumes often get all the attention on Halloween, but there are ways to shine without the need of a significant other. Here are some ways you can dress up this Halloween to prove to the world that you're just fine on your own. Yes, I'm fine, stop asking me.

1.) A Farmer
This one is cute, but easy. All you'll need is a farmer's hat, a flannel that still smells like him, and maybe even some vegetables, like, say, tomatoes that you can throw at his house. You can just wear jeans with this costume, and bring an extra pair of your underwear that you can leave in his mailbox so he remembers what he lost.
 
2.) Zombie Princess Diana
The prophesy did predict she would rise 20 years after her "death." All you have to do is stab some of your ex's Facebook friends with a tiara, wear that tiara, and you'll look just like the undead princess out for revenge against the royal family that deserted her after her split from Prince Charles.
3.) A Member of the Dying Middle Class
If you dress like this you'll be sure to get a lot of laughs! Just wear what you normally wear, but walk through a rich neighborhood. The free caviar you get when the aristocrats throw it at you telling you to "go back to the slums, filthy dog" will make it all worth it.

4.) Someone Who Doesn't Need Romance to be Happy
This one is easy! All you need is a white shirt, tie (any color), poison to slip in the food of your former lover, an alibi that puts you far away from the scene of the crime, a lawyer who's willing to lie to keep you out of prison, a judge who is able to be bribed, and a pair of those glasses with the fake nose and mustache attached. You might have to explain this one at a party, but it will be worth it when Timothy finally gets what he deserves!

5.) The "Heart Eyes" Emoji
Anyone who's ever sent a text will love this! Just extract the hearts from two people (maybe your exes?) and tape them to your face. If your face is not already jaundiced, yellow face paint will help it look all the more like an emoji. It can get a little messy, but don't let that keep you from smiling!

 6.) Peanut Butter
It doesn't matter if someone promised they would go to your coworker's party with you as jelly but then dumped you two days before Halloween without giving you a real reason, peanut butter is still a great costume! It also doesn't matter if they still have the peanut butter costume that you made and won't return your calls and you don't have time to make a new one, just spread peanut butter on a white t-shirt and it'll look fine!

 7.) Instagram
This one is fun, who doesn't love the mega-popular image sharing app? Find a large piece of cardboard (like part of a refrigerator box) and cut a square near the top so that YOU can be the photo. Paint it white to match the color of the app, and then use a sharpie to add the details to make it your own, like a fake username because he blocked you, or hundreds of likes to show him how you don't need him because you're popular now.

8.) A Scientist
A lab coat, some big glasses, and a test tube are all you to pull this costume together! You'll be the smartest one at any party, but somehow still not smart enough to not fall for the same type of guy over and over. It might be fun to fill your test tube with a green liquid and pretend it's a deadly pathogen, or maybe the cure for a heart that was broken by the one person you trusted the most in the world.

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

Three tips on getting your beach body that don't involve going to war with Iran

Summer is almost here, which means Americans will be heading to the beach, pool, and possibly the Middle East to start another genocidal war that will only further destabilize the region. Here are some tips that make sure you look good while also ensuring you don't kill hundreds of thousands of people. 1.) Stick to your diplomatic relationship and your workout routine. Having a set plan can go a loooong way in ensuring you get to the gym every week. Once you establish something that works, though, don't give up just because you get busy or you want to tarnish your predecessor's legacy. Abs don't show up in one week. Don't stop your workout just because your tummy doesn't get flat right away, or because of unfounded claims that the 2015 peace deal deal isn't working. As Dory from Finding Nemo famously says: 2.) Maintain a high-protein breakfast and avoid appointing John Bolton as your National Security Advisor. Any breakfast that inc...

Something you never want to hear from your significant other

It started out like a regular date night. Both of us had survived tough weeks at work, and we relished the chance to get away from it all. After paying for our meal, we weren't yet ready to head in, so we decided to go for a walk by the river. It was warm, but the breeze off the water soothed us. My partner and I held hands. We chitchatted. I don't remember what we talked about, but then he turned to me and told me something I will never forget. My first reaction after hearing these words was shock. I never in my life imagined I would hear something like that directed at me, especially from someone I cared about so deeply. Did he really just say that? I wondered. Even though I had heard him clearly, my only response was, "What?" He repeated. Again, every word entered my ear and soured all happy memories I had of my partner. Every warm feeling that I felt towards him was now ice cold, and it was just as shocking to hear the second time: A roller skating ...

Update

I don't post about myself on here very often, but it's important that I share a significant update in my life. I'm not sharing this so you feel sorry for me,  or look up to me, or even feel proud of me. I'm sharing this so others can hear my story, so that others going through something similar can know that they're not alone. I don't intend for this to be shocking, so I'm just going to say it now: I ate an entire ham by myself last Thursday. Simply typing those words out sent a wave of mixed emotions over me. On one hand, I'm relieved to get this off my chest. It feels freeing to share such a meaningful part of my life. On the other hand, it's terrifying, because now that everyone reading this knows I ate an entire ham by myself last Thursday I face the risk of experiencing judgment, strange looks, or whispers behind my back. Please know, however, that I am still me. I am still your family member, friend, work acquaintance, or whatever it is tha...

Web-site Musings' Official 2020 Endorsement

I have covered politics before, in both opinion and factual pieces, but have always refrained from making endorsements because no one paid me to. This year is different, however, with crises that seem to increase more and more by the day. As someone who cares about the future of this country and the world, I am making this endorsement in the hopes that we make it to 2021 looking stylish, while also staying practical. For this reason, I am proud to endorse FLEXI Extra Sturdy Sunglasses With Color Lenses - Sleek Design, Men & Women SJ9083! This election is more important than ever, as the current occupant of the White House has refused to tackle some of our most pressing issues, such as giving your eyes the UV protection they need as you go about your daily routine. Scientists predict that all of y our friends will have the coolest shades while you are stuck looking boring and dull, and yet, the President has do ne nothing about this crisis. As a candidate, FLEXI Extra Sturd...

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992  Aladdin  film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...