Skip to main content

Costume Ideas if You're Single this Halloween

Couples costumes are great, but not so much fun when you're single. Joint costumes often get all the attention on Halloween, but there are ways to shine without the need of a significant other. Here are some ways you can dress up this Halloween to prove to the world that you're just fine on your own. Yes, I'm fine, stop asking me.

1.) A Farmer
This one is cute, but easy. All you'll need is a farmer's hat, a flannel that still smells like him, and maybe even some vegetables, like, say, tomatoes that you can throw at his house. You can just wear jeans with this costume, and bring an extra pair of your underwear that you can leave in his mailbox so he remembers what he lost.
 
2.) Zombie Princess Diana
The prophesy did predict she would rise 20 years after her "death." All you have to do is stab some of your ex's Facebook friends with a tiara, wear that tiara, and you'll look just like the undead princess out for revenge against the royal family that deserted her after her split from Prince Charles.
3.) A Member of the Dying Middle Class
If you dress like this you'll be sure to get a lot of laughs! Just wear what you normally wear, but walk through a rich neighborhood. The free caviar you get when the aristocrats throw it at you telling you to "go back to the slums, filthy dog" will make it all worth it.

4.) Someone Who Doesn't Need Romance to be Happy
This one is easy! All you need is a white shirt, tie (any color), poison to slip in the food of your former lover, an alibi that puts you far away from the scene of the crime, a lawyer who's willing to lie to keep you out of prison, a judge who is able to be bribed, and a pair of those glasses with the fake nose and mustache attached. You might have to explain this one at a party, but it will be worth it when Timothy finally gets what he deserves!

5.) The "Heart Eyes" Emoji
Anyone who's ever sent a text will love this! Just extract the hearts from two people (maybe your exes?) and tape them to your face. If your face is not already jaundiced, yellow face paint will help it look all the more like an emoji. It can get a little messy, but don't let that keep you from smiling!

 6.) Peanut Butter
It doesn't matter if someone promised they would go to your coworker's party with you as jelly but then dumped you two days before Halloween without giving you a real reason, peanut butter is still a great costume! It also doesn't matter if they still have the peanut butter costume that you made and won't return your calls and you don't have time to make a new one, just spread peanut butter on a white t-shirt and it'll look fine!

 7.) Instagram
This one is fun, who doesn't love the mega-popular image sharing app? Find a large piece of cardboard (like part of a refrigerator box) and cut a square near the top so that YOU can be the photo. Paint it white to match the color of the app, and then use a sharpie to add the details to make it your own, like a fake username because he blocked you, or hundreds of likes to show him how you don't need him because you're popular now.

8.) A Scientist
A lab coat, some big glasses, and a test tube are all you to pull this costume together! You'll be the smartest one at any party, but somehow still not smart enough to not fall for the same type of guy over and over. It might be fun to fill your test tube with a green liquid and pretend it's a deadly pathogen, or maybe the cure for a heart that was broken by the one person you trusted the most in the world.

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click  here  to read at funny-ish.com.

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992  Aladdin  film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...

10 Pictures of Dogs That Will Make You Say "This Idiot Doesn't Know What Dogs Are"

Dogs: gotta love them, right? I can remember the first time I saw a dog, I said: "Wow, look at that dog, which I know is a dog because I know what dogs are!" While some dogs do some things, there are other dogs that do other things. But when it comes down to it, all dogs are one thing: and that thing is that they are all dogs. Here are some pictures of dogs: 1.) Clifford the Big Red Dog We've all heard of Clifford the big red dog, right? This is a picture of something big and red, therefore it is a dog. 2.) A dog and something else! I love it when dogs are in photos with other things! There are two things in this photo, one of which is not a dog, the other of which is a dog! 3.) More dog! Wow! Look all that dog! 4.) A dog doing what dogs do! Now that's a dog if I ever saw one! Which I have! 5.) Statistically, one of these has to be a dog. This is harder than I thought it would be. 5.) It's a dog eat dog world. Maybe a dog is hidi...

Summer Fun on a Budget

In case the several gallons of sweat drenching the inside of your astronaut costume hasn't told you yet, SUMMER IS HERE! For some that might mean several weeks of traveling, but for those of us who don't work for a pirate that pays us in treasure chests, we don't have a ton of time or gold coins to traverse the seas. If you fall in that category, like I do, this list will hopefully give you some valuable tips to enjoying your summer without breaking the bank. 1.) Discontinue the zero-tolerance illegal immigration policy. I don't know about you, but criminalizing people who try to get from one country to another is my least favorite thing about summer (or any season). Why not end this by getting rid of this discriminatory policy in the first place? Put on one of those old sundresses or some flip flops to look extra cute while doing it! 2.) Stop separating families at the border. Did you know that you can ride a roller coaster or go to a water park to hear scr...

Emotion, Inc.

             Mel hung up the phone and stared straight ahead, replaying the conversation in his head. He knew he had to tell his boss what had happened, but how? There was a knock on his door and a tan face with a grin of shiny white teeth stepped into his office. “Ready for the meeting, Choly?” He laughed at an untold joke. “Yup,” said Mel, taking a deep breath. “I’m excited, we’ll get to hear how well we worked! And if not, boss always gives the best advice.” As Mel walked past him he gave him a forceful pat on the back. Mel just ignored him. “What’s wrong, friend?” “It’s nothing, Smiley.” The two walked down the hallway and towards the conference room. “Well whatever it is, I’m sure this meeting will cheer you up!” Mel suspected the exact opposite would happen, but he simply sighed. The two stepped into a room where a man and a woman sat at a long table. He and Smiley took seats next to each other, and as they sat dow...