Questions I Would Like to See Asked at the Final Debate

1.) What are you going to do about poverty? Specifically, can I borrow $50?

2.) Why are trains so loud?

3.) Are you able to tap your head, rub your belly, and invade a foreign country at the same time?

4.) What will you do to work with Congress in order to tackle income inequality? -OR- How stinky and dumb is your opponent?

5.) Why did the makers of the board game Candyland change the name of the character Queen Frostine to Princess Frostine? Will you change it back? The decision made by the makers of the game makes absolutely no sense, as "Queen" pleasantly rhymes with "Frostine," and Candyland already had a resident princess (Lolly) before they changed Frostine's name.

6.) How will you make next year's Spring Formal better? This year's sucked and they played really dumb music.

7.) Have you seen my blue North Face? For a while I thought I'd left it at work, but I've checked the coat closet several times and it's not there. It's possible that someone took it, or that I left it at my parents' house last time I was there. I keep forgetting to check whenever I go back though. Maybe I should just call them.

8.) ISIS: bad?

9.) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could receive paid family leave?

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click here to read at funny-ish.com.

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992 Aladdin film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...

10 Pictures of Dogs That Will Make You Say "This Idiot Doesn't Know What Dogs Are"

Dogs: gotta love them, right? I can remember the first time I saw a dog, I said: "Wow, look at that dog, which I know is a dog because I know what dogs are!" While some dogs do some things, there are other dogs that do other things. But when it comes down to it, all dogs are one thing: and that thing is that they are all dogs. Here are some pictures of dogs: 1.) Clifford the Big Red Dog We've all heard of Clifford the big red dog, right? This is a picture of something big and red, therefore it is a dog. 2.) A dog and something else! I love it when dogs are in photos with other things! There are two things in this photo, one of which is not a dog, the other of which is a dog! 3.) More dog! Wow! Look all that dog! 4.) A dog doing what dogs do! Now that's a dog if I ever saw one! Which I have! 5.) Statistically, one of these has to be a dog. This is harder than I thought it would be. 5.) It's a dog eat dog world. Maybe a dog is hidi...

Summer Fun on a Budget

In case the several gallons of sweat drenching the inside of your astronaut costume hasn't told you yet, SUMMER IS HERE! For some that might mean several weeks of traveling, but for those of us who don't work for a pirate that pays us in treasure chests, we don't have a ton of time or gold coins to traverse the seas. If you fall in that category, like I do, this list will hopefully give you some valuable tips to enjoying your summer without breaking the bank. 1.) Discontinue the zero-tolerance illegal immigration policy. I don't know about you, but criminalizing people who try to get from one country to another is my least favorite thing about summer (or any season). Why not end this by getting rid of this discriminatory policy in the first place? Put on one of those old sundresses or some flip flops to look extra cute while doing it! 2.) Stop separating families at the border. Did you know that you can ride a roller coaster or go to a water park to hear scr...

Emotion, Inc.

Mel hung up the phone and stared straight ahead, replaying the conversation in his head. He knew he had to tell his boss what had happened, but how? There was a knock on his door and a tan face with a grin of shiny white teeth stepped into his office. “Ready for the meeting, Choly?” He laughed at an untold joke. “Yup,” said Mel, taking a deep breath. “I’m excited, we’ll get to hear how well we worked! And if not, boss always gives the best advice.” As Mel walked past him he gave him a forceful pat on the back. Mel just ignored him. “What’s wrong, friend?” “It’s nothing, Smiley.” The two walked down the hallway and towards the conference room. “Well whatever it is, I’m sure this meeting will cheer you up!” Mel suspected the exact opposite would happen, but he simply sighed. The two stepped into a room where a man and a woman sat at a long table. He and Smiley took seats next to each other, and as they sat dow...

Web-site musings

Search This Blog