Questions I Would Like to See Asked at the Final Debate

1.) What are you going to do about poverty? Specifically, can I borrow $50? 

2.) Why are trains so loud?

3.) Are you able to tap your head, rub your belly, and invade a foreign country at the same time?

  

4.) What will you do to work with Congress in order to tackle income inequality? -OR- How stinky and dumb is your opponent?

5.) Why did the makers of the board game Candyland change the name of the character Queen Frostine to Princess Frostine? Will you change it back? The decision made by the makers of the game makes absolutely no sense, as "Queen" pleasantly rhymes with "Frostine," and Candyland already had a resident princess (Lolly) before they changed Frostine's name.

6.) How will you make next year's Spring Formal better? This year's sucked and they played really dumb music.

7.) Have you seen my blue North Face? For a while I thought I'd left it at work, but I've checked the coat closet several times and it's not there. It's possible that someone took it, or that I left it at my parents' house last time I was there. I keep forgetting to check whenever I go back though. Maybe I should just call them.

8.) ISIS: bad? 

9.) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could receive paid family leave?