Can you fill this out without lying?

I'll do my best! Haha

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

Glass

2. Where was your profile picture taken?

In an alternate reality where World War II never happened but also GoGurt was never invented

3. Do you play Pokemon Go?

Not anymore. I stopped playing because my Pokémons became self aware and started showing me their private parts

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?

Lee Harvey Oswald

5. How late did you stay up last night?

Until blood began spilling from the moon

6. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be?

On top of a yak

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?

Only by shadows

8. Who is your most observant friend?

Spuzzy Carmichael, concierge at the Seduct Inn. He sees it all!

9.Do you believe ex's can be friends?

All my exes live in another realm where they do not have the capability of connecting to humans or understanding the concept of "friendship"

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?

The liquid equivalent of every human's joys and terrors

11. Who took your profile picture?

A man with no teeth dressed all in black

12. Who was the last person you took pic of?

A Japanese goblin (technically not a person but he was wearing a fedora to look like one)

13. Was yesterday better than today?

Yesterday is tomorrow, I am moving backward in time

14. Can you live a day without TV?

Umm... probably not! I need my Netflix lol

15. If you could have any job/career, which would you choose?

The person who collects the Pope's discarded pistachio shells

16. Are you a bad influence?

I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click here to read at funny-ish.com.

10 Pictures of Dogs That Will Make You Say "This Idiot Doesn't Know What Dogs Are"

Dogs: gotta love them, right? I can remember the first time I saw a dog, I said: "Wow, look at that dog, which I know is a dog because I know what dogs are!" While some dogs do some things, there are other dogs that do other things. But when it comes down to it, all dogs are one thing: and that thing is that they are all dogs. Here are some pictures of dogs: 1.) Clifford the Big Red Dog We've all heard of Clifford the big red dog, right? This is a picture of something big and red, therefore it is a dog. 2.) A dog and something else! I love it when dogs are in photos with other things! There are two things in this photo, one of which is not a dog, the other of which is a dog! 3.) More dog! Wow! Look all that dog! 4.) A dog doing what dogs do! Now that's a dog if I ever saw one! Which I have! 5.) Statistically, one of these has to be a dog. This is harder than I thought it would be. 5.) It's a dog eat dog world. Maybe a dog is hidi...

My vacation!

I don't get to travel much, but when I do I never know the best way to share my journey. Twitter doesn't give you enough characters, and Facebook is too filled with political posts these days. Instagram banned me for direct messaging photos of my feet to celebrities, so I decided to share my adventures on my blog. I hope you enjoy! Have you ever seen anything so stunning? I haven't because my eyes melted. When I arrived I was immediately taken aback by the view! While I had heard that the scenery would blow me away, I didn't think that my skin would literally fall off of my bones! Found some unwelcome creatures where I stayed... I wish the hotel I stayed at had called an exterminator before I arrived... yuck! The facility was otherwise fine (though the pool of eternally burning fire could have been a little bigger), but I CANNOT stand finding critters where I sleep. I'm sure you wouldn't be able to sleep either if you had these guys crawling under your...

My coming out post

This is difficult. I’m not usually vulnerable on here, but I need to talk about something. After being in the closet for so long, it’s time for me to speak my truth. As a writer, this blog is the best place for me to do that. And I really appreciate YOU for reading this. Being in the closet is in no way a fun experience. When you have no one to talk to it’s easy to shut down, to get lost in your thoughts. For that reason, I have a lot of pent-up emotions... soI’ll try to not write too much! I feel like I’ve been in the closet forever. But when it really comes down to it, I’m the same person I was when I was trapped in there. “Trapped” might seem like a strong word, but I assure you, I do not use it lightly. When I was in the closet, I truly felt that I would never get out - and that often led to despair. Despite all this, I have no regrets - because coming out has only made me stronger. I cannot write this post without thanking my support system: my friends and family. Thes...

Summer Fun on a Budget

In case the several gallons of sweat drenching the inside of your astronaut costume hasn't told you yet, SUMMER IS HERE! For some that might mean several weeks of traveling, but for those of us who don't work for a pirate that pays us in treasure chests, we don't have a ton of time or gold coins to traverse the seas. If you fall in that category, like I do, this list will hopefully give you some valuable tips to enjoying your summer without breaking the bank. 1.) Discontinue the zero-tolerance illegal immigration policy. I don't know about you, but criminalizing people who try to get from one country to another is my least favorite thing about summer (or any season). Why not end this by getting rid of this discriminatory policy in the first place? Put on one of those old sundresses or some flip flops to look extra cute while doing it! 2.) Stop separating families at the border. Did you know that you can ride a roller coaster or go to a water park to hear scr...

Web-site musings

Search This Blog