Can you fill this out without lying?

I'll do my best! Haha

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?

Glass

2. Where was your profile picture taken?

In an alternate reality where World War II never happened but also GoGurt was never invented

3. Do you play Pokemon Go?

Not anymore. I stopped playing because my Pokémons became self aware and started showing me their private parts

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?

Lee Harvey Oswald

5. How late did you stay up last night?

Until blood began spilling from the moon

6. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be?

On top of a yak

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?

Only by shadows

8. Who is your most observant friend?

Spuzzy Carmichael, concierge at the Seduct Inn. He sees it all!

9.Do you believe ex's can be friends?

All my exes live in another realm where they do not have the capability of connecting to humans or understanding the concept of "friendship"

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?

The liquid equivalent of every human's joys and terrors

11. Who took your profile picture?

A man with no teeth dressed all in black

12. Who was the last person you took pic of?

A Japanese goblin (technically not a person but he was wearing a fedora to look like one)

13. Was yesterday better than today?

Yesterday is tomorrow, I am moving backward in time

14. Can you live a day without TV?

Umm... probably not! I need my Netflix lol

15. If you could have any job/career, which would you choose?

The person who collects the Pope's discarded pistachio shells

16. Are you a bad influence?

I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good I am good

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click here to read at funny-ish.com.

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992 Aladdin film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...

My vacation!

I don't get to travel much, but when I do I never know the best way to share my journey. Twitter doesn't give you enough characters, and Facebook is too filled with political posts these days. Instagram banned me for direct messaging photos of my feet to celebrities, so I decided to share my adventures on my blog. I hope you enjoy! Have you ever seen anything so stunning? I haven't because my eyes melted. When I arrived I was immediately taken aback by the view! While I had heard that the scenery would blow me away, I didn't think that my skin would literally fall off of my bones! Found some unwelcome creatures where I stayed... I wish the hotel I stayed at had called an exterminator before I arrived... yuck! The facility was otherwise fine (though the pool of eternally burning fire could have been a little bigger), but I CANNOT stand finding critters where I sleep. I'm sure you wouldn't be able to sleep either if you had these guys crawling under your...

Three tips on getting your beach body that don't involve going to war with Iran

Summer is almost here, which means Americans will be heading to the beach, pool, and possibly the Middle East to start another genocidal war that will only further destabilize the region. Here are some tips that make sure you look good while also ensuring you don't kill hundreds of thousands of people. 1.) Stick to your diplomatic relationship and your workout routine. Having a set plan can go a loooong way in ensuring you get to the gym every week. Once you establish something that works, though, don't give up just because you get busy or you want to tarnish your predecessor's legacy. Abs don't show up in one week. Don't stop your workout just because your tummy doesn't get flat right away, or because of unfounded claims that the 2015 peace deal deal isn't working. As Dory from Finding Nemo famously says: 2.) Maintain a high-protein breakfast and avoid appointing John Bolton as your National Security Advisor. Any breakfast that inc...

5 tips for being an introvert and still leading an active social life

A lot of people think being an introvert means you are anti-social. You tell them that you’re an introvert, and they’ll say something like, “Oh, you must hate people,” or “Please don’t consume my blood!” While these comments are frustrating, it’s important to remember that being an introvert is nothing to be ashamed of - it just means you live a lifestyle that’s a little different from that of humans that still have beating hearts. As an introvert, you know that self care is important - so here are five tips to keep you functioning! Don't be afraid to say no! Here's something I wish I was told more when I was growing up: if someone asks you to hang out at a restaurant that has garlic or mirrors, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO. Not everyone enjoys looking for their reflection, only to see the blank wall behind them, reminding you that you don't have a soul - and that's okay! Telling someone that you can't hang out doesn't make you heartless - the curse that trappe...

Web-site musings

Search This Blog