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My Top 10 Events of 2016

Here are some of the good things that happened this year... what got number 1??
10.) Being on Ellen:

Ellen was my housemate's hamster. I accidentally sat on her because I did not know she had gotten out of her cage and was hiding under our couch cushions. I have never killed anything that had a name, and it was a thrilling experience. I don't think I will kill anything with a name again, but I am glad I now know what it feels like to kill a hamster.

9.) Getting a new job:

I finally got a new, real job, at a company / organization in which I use my skills to provide a service / sell a product in a legitimate way. I am paying taxes at fair rate based on my income bracket. If anyone asks, I have a normal job and I am making money legally and ethically!

8.) Finally figuring out that writing about popular topics can increase web traffic to my blog:

Game Boy. The Secret Life of Pets Blue-Ray. iPhone 7. Hamilton soundtrack. Pokémon pajamas. Clive Owen shirtless. Minions backpack. Batman action figure. Superman action figure. Joker action figure. Harley Quinn action figure. Carly Fiorina action figure. Jar of human teeth. Scandal Season 4 DVD. Remote control BB-8 toy.

7.) Moving to a new house:

The spirit that inhabited my previous residence sure was pissed when it found out I was leaving. Luckily, though, it turns out it's not my house that was possessed by that angry specter... but my tortured soul! My new housemates sure were surprised when they found out they weren't getting one new tenant, but two! While the ghost isn't the neatest person I've ever lived with (it seems like blood is CONSTANTLY dripping from the walls), we've found some common ground in our desire to take revenge on those who have wronged us, and have had plenty of laughs along the way!

6.) Attending the weddings of my close friends:

 Love was in the air in 2016! It was so fun dancing, laughing, and taking pictures with the happy couples whose names I recall. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the union of two people who love each other, especially when it is people that have names I can spell but sometimes choose not to. I was so grateful that these people whose weddings I remember attending chose to have me be a part of their very special days!

5.) Learning that potatoes are a vegetable:

I have asked my parents what potatoes are every year since I can remember. Each time I would ask, however, they would say, "We will not tell you what potatoes are. Do not ask us again." Even though they told me not to ask them what potatoes are, I still asked. This year I decided to trick my parents into telling me what potatoes are. I wrote a note that said "What are potatoes? Signed, your pastor." I put the note on the kitchen table and hid. Later, I saw that my parents wrote "Potatoes are a vegetable" at the bottom of the note. That is how I learned that potatoes are a vegetable.

4.) Volunteering with my neighborhood Laugh at People Riding Unicycles Program:

This was a rewarding, but also challenging experience. Sometimes it was hard to find people riding unicycles, and that could be discouraging, for finding people riding unicycles are a very important aspect of the Laugh at People Riding Unicycles Program. The other members of LPRUP were super supportive, though! They encouraged me throughout my volunteering process, and sure enough, one afternoon I saw my neighbor Dave riding his unicycle in the driveway and I laughed at him. I feel like I gained so much from that experience that I never thought I would; it was such a nice feeling when I opened my mailbox and saw the note from Dave's wife that said "Please do not laugh at Dave when he practices his unicycle riding."

3.) Making a meme that got two likes:

The meme was a picture of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz saying "Toto, I don't think we're in a normal election season anymore!" It was a reference to the crazy election cycle we faced as a country! Instead of Dorothy saying "Kansas" like she does in the film, she made a reference to the current political atmosphere in America. While it didn't go "viral," making the meme was a great learning experience! If it got at least one person to smile, making that meme will have been worth it.

2.) Taking a media fast:

Technology consumes us! It seems like we need our phones to survive sometimes, but when we get a break from them it can make A LOT of difference in our lives. The other day I left my phone in my room while I took a shower. It felt strange at first, not knowing every movement the Kardashians made, but it was refreshing to just be alone with my thoughts. When I got back to my phone I didn't feel as attached to it as I was before, though I did find out that my friend had gotten pregnant and had a baby. I take very long showers.

1.) Not pooping my pants:

This was the only way this post could end. I will not apologize for it. Don't say it's not funny.

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