This Will Completely Change Your Mind About Judging Others

I was in the grocery store when I saw a man struggling with his groceries. I felt bad when I saw him, but in my ignorance, I walked right past. I did notice that he had no arms or legs or body whatsoever. I could tell just by looking at him that his spirit had been torn from his physical body many decades ago.

When I got to the checkout I saw that there was a long line starting to form behind the man I had seen earlier. People were groaning loudly as he tried to put his groceries on the belt. Every time the translucent man touched his box of macaroni, however, his hand passed right through it.

A bald man near the back of the line slammed his fists on his cart. "Some of us have LIVES to get to." When the bald man said "lives" I could see the ghost's dust-colored lip tremble. His life had clearly ended many years ago.

"It's quite alright," said the young cashier, doing her best to be polite, though I saw a single bead of sweat roll down her temple, then onto her cheek, neck, shoulder, curve around her arm three times, and then off the tip of her finger.

"No it's not alright!" said the bald man. He was yelling now, so loud that everyone around us stopped what they were doing to watch. "I have a football game I need to get to, so I don't have time to be sympathetic towards a situation that I do not fully understand!"

The dead man at the front of the line apologized, clearly flustered. As he spoke I felt a deep chill, as though his voice had come from a frozen lake of the dead. Everyone around me had goosebumps.

If the bald man near the back had goosebumps he didn't show it. "Just go back to your grave," he said scowling, and then muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes, "Phantoms."

At this the lights in the store began to flicker. Everyone in the store gasped. A loud voice spoke, but it did not come from the intercom. Instead it seemed to come from the air, emanating from every one of the minuscule particles that surrounded us. "†HÌ§ Ì§ ñÖ† JÚ§† Ä þHÄñ†ÖM, Ì† Ì§ Ä §þÌRÌ† Ö£ †RÚÈ ßRÄVÈR¥ ÄñÐ HÖñÖR."

The bald man was no longer scowling. His eyes were as wide as the apples in his cart. I could tell that he was going to learn a valuable lesson about judging others.

"†HÖ§È WHÖ ÇÖñÐÈMñ †HÌ§ §þÌRÌ† ÇÖñÐÈMñ ÄMÈRÌÇÄ Ì†§ÈL£. †HÖ§È WHÖ ÇÖñÐÈMñ †HÌ§ §þÌRÌ† ÄRÈ þÚñÌ§HÈÐ. †HÖ§È WHÖ ÇÖñÐÈMñ †HÌ§ §þÌRÌ† ÐÖ ñÖ† §ÚRVÌVÈ." A sound that reminded me of a thousand angry souls screaming errupted at the check out line. At this point everyone in the store was listening.

The bald man was crying now, but instead of tears blood flowed from his eyes. "Ì HÖþÈ ¥ÖÚ HÄVÈ LÈÄRñÈÐ Ä VÄLÚÄßLÈ LÈ§§Öñ ÄßÖÚ† ÇRÌ†ÌÇÌZÌñG Ö†HÈR§," said the voice.

"I have!" said the bald man, as his clothes errupted in flame. Everyone in the store cheered as the man ran from the store screaming in agony.

Those of us that were left helped put the ghost's groceries on the belt. As he was about to pay I stopped him. "Please, allow me. It's the least I can do." The man smiled to show his decayed teeth and thanked me as he floated away. I looked at the cashier who had tears in her eyes. "I wonder who he was," I said as she handed me my change.

"I'm pretty sure you've heard of him," she said, and pointed to the one dollar bill in my hand.

I looked at it and realized that it had the same face as the person standing in front of me in line.

I had just bought groceries for George Washington.

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click here to read at funny-ish.com.

Painful Pain

With my eyes I cry, the tears tear tears In my skin, like shards of glass. And I bleed emotion. Emotion that cuts at my heart, like another shard of glass, And breaks it, like a rock through a pane of glass. A pane that is painful whenever it is touched and falls apart like a shattering of glass. A shattering that scatters my smattered pain. Painful pain, full of glass and empty burrito wrappers

Making Sacrifices in Housing Choices: The Millennial Reality

Millennials get a lot of criticism from older generations like Baby Boomers and ancient spirits trapped in the old tree outside my dentist's office. Some of it is fair, but most of it, in my experience, is unfair. I think any generation has members who complain too much, are entitled, or think the world revolves around them, so w hen I hear people criticizing Millennials as "selfish" or "lazy" or "crying too loudly in the Taco Bell drive thru," I can't help but roll my eyes. In all honesty, most Millennials I know are selfless, determined, and only cry in the drive thru at Wendy's. Many of us are struggling to survive in an economic climate that doesn't give us the jobs we went to school for, so we have made a lot of sacrifices in order to make ends meet. For instance, I have recently begun living life as a house cat in order to stay with a couple rent-free. It took a lot of humility for me to agree to live this way. I had been s...

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992 Aladdin film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...

9 Questions to NEVER Ask a Gay Person

As a gay person, it’s common to get frustrating questions. If you consider yourself an ally and have asked one of these before, reconsider how you interact with queer people! 1 .) "How many people have you killed?" Wow... just, no. The fact that someone dates people of the same gender does NOT mean they're also a serial murderer. Don't just assume that your gay coworker has a mass grave in their backyard: if they've taken the lives of several people, trust me, they'll tell you! 2.) " So who's the man and who's the woman in the relationship? " Not everyone speaks English. Its offensive to assume that everyone speaks the same language as you. Newsflash: America doesn't have a national language, so not everyone is going to know what you're saying. Try to be understanding of the fact that some Americans never learned English. 3.) " What's the circumference of the earth? " There's nothin...

Web-site musings

Search This Blog