Skip to main content

My 2018 Top 10 Lists From the Bottom of a Well

2018 gave us an overwhelming amount of pop-culture, all of which I missed because I was stuck at the bottom of a well for most of the year. Here are my favorite things in the bottom of this well!

long-angle photography of tunnel

Rocks

  1. The one that looks like Mickey Rourke (pre-surgery) 
  2. The pebble the children threw at me
  3. Stephen King's The Rock I Used as A Pillow When I Slept
  4. Rocky McStoney (his parents named him that - not me!)
  5. Dwayne Johnson in HBO's Ballers
  6. The one that looks like Mickey Rourke (post-surgery)
  7. The grin-shaped rock that taunted me throughout my time at the bottom of the well, cackling as I called out for help, sneering as I attempted to climb out, and whispering discouraging things as I cried to the open skies
  8. The one that looks like Mickey Rourke (during surgery)
  9. Sorry to Bother You
  10. The Unknown Creature Skull I Thought Was a Rock At First But Definitely Wasn't

Critters

  1. The worm that I found in my hair
  2. The Unknown Creature Skull I Thought Was a Rock At First But Definitely Wasn't
  3. The animal inside me that exists in all humans, only revealing itself in times of great desperation
  4. Lassie, who knew I was down here but didn't tell anyone
  5. Ted Cruz
  6. Centipede Cusan (Pronounced "Susan")
  7. Millipede Maggie (Pronounced "Susan")
  8. The baby goat that the rescuers (who pretended to not hear me) spent 36 hours freeing from the well
  9. Viola Davis's dog in Widows
  10. If the worm I found on my leg is different from the one I found in my hair, then the one on my leg is number 10, but if it's the same as the one I found in my hair, then the beetle I found on my elbow is number 10

Wells

  1. Orson
  2. H.G.
  3. The second one I was trapped inside
  4. The first one I was trapped inside
  5. The one I am trapped inside now
  6. The way a villain might say it three times after thwarting a hero's plans
  7. Web Enhanced Language Learning
  8. America's first commercial oil well in Titusville, PA
  9. Fargo (the bank)
  10. Fargo (not really a well but it was an enjoyable television program)

Comments

Post a Comment

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click  here  to read at funny-ish.com.
Post a Comment
Read more

Summer Fun on a Budget

In case the several gallons of sweat drenching the inside of your astronaut costume hasn't told you yet, SUMMER IS HERE! For some that might mean several weeks of traveling, but for those of us who don't work for a pirate that pays us in treasure chests, we don't have a ton of time or gold coins to traverse the seas. If you fall in that category, like I do, this list will hopefully give you some valuable tips to enjoying your summer without breaking the bank. 1.) Discontinue the zero-tolerance illegal immigration policy. I don't know about you, but criminalizing people who try to get from one country to another is my least favorite thing about summer (or any season). Why not end this by getting rid of this discriminatory policy in the first place? Put on one of those old sundresses or some flip flops to look extra cute while doing it! 2.) Stop separating families at the border. Did you know that you can ride a roller coaster or go to a water park to hear scr...
Post a Comment
Read more

10 Pictures of Dogs That Will Make You Say "This Idiot Doesn't Know What Dogs Are"

Dogs: gotta love them, right? I can remember the first time I saw a dog, I said: "Wow, look at that dog, which I know is a dog because I know what dogs are!" While some dogs do some things, there are other dogs that do other things. But when it comes down to it, all dogs are one thing: and that thing is that they are all dogs. Here are some pictures of dogs: 1.) Clifford the Big Red Dog We've all heard of Clifford the big red dog, right? This is a picture of something big and red, therefore it is a dog. 2.) A dog and something else! I love it when dogs are in photos with other things! There are two things in this photo, one of which is not a dog, the other of which is a dog! 3.) More dog! Wow! Look all that dog! 4.) A dog doing what dogs do! Now that's a dog if I ever saw one! Which I have! 5.) Statistically, one of these has to be a dog. This is harder than I thought it would be. 5.) It's a dog eat dog world. Maybe a dog is hidi...
Post a Comment
Read more

My coming out post

This is difficult. I’m not usually vulnerable on here, but I need to talk about something. After being in the closet for so long, it’s time for me to speak my truth. As a writer, this blog is the best place for me to do that. And I really appreciate YOU for reading this. Being in the closet is in no way a fun experience. When you have no one to talk to it’s easy to shut down, to get lost in your thoughts. For that reason, I have a lot of pent-up emotions... soI’ll try to not write too much! I feel like I’ve been in the closet forever. But when it really comes down to it, I’m the same person I was when I was trapped in there. “Trapped” might seem like a strong word, but I assure you, I do not use it  lightly. When I was in the closet, I truly felt that I would never get out - and that often led to despair. Despite all this, I have no regrets - because coming out has only made me stronger. I cannot write this post without thanking my support system: my friends and family. Thes...
Post a Comment
Read more

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992  Aladdin  film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...
Post a Comment
Read more