Skip to main content

My 2018 Top 10 Lists From the Bottom of a Well

2018 gave us an overwhelming amount of pop-culture, all of which I missed because I was stuck at the bottom of a well for most of the year. Here are my favorite things in the bottom of this well!

long-angle photography of tunnel

Rocks

  1. The one that looks like Mickey Rourke (pre-surgery) 
  2. The pebble the children threw at me
  3. Stephen King's The Rock I Used as A Pillow When I Slept
  4. Rocky McStoney (his parents named him that - not me!)
  5. Dwayne Johnson in HBO's Ballers
  6. The one that looks like Mickey Rourke (post-surgery)
  7. The grin-shaped rock that taunted me throughout my time at the bottom of the well, cackling as I called out for help, sneering as I attempted to climb out, and whispering discouraging things as I cried to the open skies
  8. The one that looks like Mickey Rourke (during surgery)
  9. Sorry to Bother You
  10. The Unknown Creature Skull I Thought Was a Rock At First But Definitely Wasn't

Critters

  1. The worm that I found in my hair
  2. The Unknown Creature Skull I Thought Was a Rock At First But Definitely Wasn't
  3. The animal inside me that exists in all humans, only revealing itself in times of great desperation
  4. Lassie, who knew I was down here but didn't tell anyone
  5. Ted Cruz
  6. Centipede Cusan (Pronounced "Susan")
  7. Millipede Maggie (Pronounced "Susan")
  8. The baby goat that the rescuers (who pretended to not hear me) spent 36 hours freeing from the well
  9. Viola Davis's dog in Widows
  10. If the worm I found on my leg is different from the one I found in my hair, then the one on my leg is number 10, but if it's the same as the one I found in my hair, then the beetle I found on my elbow is number 10

Wells

  1. Orson
  2. H.G.
  3. The second one I was trapped inside
  4. The first one I was trapped inside
  5. The one I am trapped inside now
  6. The way a villain might say it three times after thwarting a hero's plans
  7. Web Enhanced Language Learning
  8. America's first commercial oil well in Titusville, PA
  9. Fargo (the bank)
  10. Fargo (not really a well but it was an enjoyable television program)

Comments

Read These If You Have Nothing Better to Do

How to tell if you have a horse infestation… and what to do about it.

Click  here  to read at funny-ish.com.

CULTURE MUSINGS: How is the new Aladdin different from the original?

This Memorial Day weekend, Disney released Aladdin, the live-action version of one of its most popular movies based on the life of U.S. President Warren G. Harding's youngest son. While the adaption mostly stays true to the original, some eagle-eyed fans might have noticed these changes in Guy Ritchie's remake. The events of the live action film do not end up causing the Hindenburg disaster. It is heavily implied in the 1992  Aladdin  film that the main character inadvertently creates a chain reaction through history that end up resulting in the 1937 explosion of the Hindenburg, starting with a chase scene at the beginning of the film. As Aladdin runs from palace guards, he bumps into a man who looks very similar to Ludwig Durr, the designer of the Hindenburg. John Musker and Ron Clements, the directors of the animated film, confirmed in several interviews that the man is indeed the airship designer's ancestor, and that Aladdin's collision with him has dire conse...

10 Pictures of Dogs That Will Make You Say "This Idiot Doesn't Know What Dogs Are"

Dogs: gotta love them, right? I can remember the first time I saw a dog, I said: "Wow, look at that dog, which I know is a dog because I know what dogs are!" While some dogs do some things, there are other dogs that do other things. But when it comes down to it, all dogs are one thing: and that thing is that they are all dogs. Here are some pictures of dogs: 1.) Clifford the Big Red Dog We've all heard of Clifford the big red dog, right? This is a picture of something big and red, therefore it is a dog. 2.) A dog and something else! I love it when dogs are in photos with other things! There are two things in this photo, one of which is not a dog, the other of which is a dog! 3.) More dog! Wow! Look all that dog! 4.) A dog doing what dogs do! Now that's a dog if I ever saw one! Which I have! 5.) Statistically, one of these has to be a dog. This is harder than I thought it would be. 5.) It's a dog eat dog world. Maybe a dog is hidi...

Raytheon releases rainbow-colored bomb to celebrate pride month

Sana’a, Yemen – Showing its support for the LGBTQ+ community, Massachusetts-based weapons manufacturer Raytheon unveiled its own rainbow-colored bombs to commemorate Pride Month. Wesley Kremer, President of Raytheon, says that world leaders can help raise awareness for important causes like LGBTQ+ equality by purchasing these bombs to use on other countries, warships, or even their own citizens. “We think it is important for our business to show their support for such a diverse community with a rich and resilient history,” said Kremer. “That’s why we’ve manufactured bombs that are not only painted the colors of the rainbow on the outside, but also explode in flashes of orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple smoke upon detonation.” Kremer explained that the bombs do not emit red smoke because the blood from men, women, and children will serve as the crimson hue of the rainbow. Emir Hamid, a Yemeni man who identifies as gay, said that he felt supported by the LGBTQ+ representa...

Emotion, Inc.

             Mel hung up the phone and stared straight ahead, replaying the conversation in his head. He knew he had to tell his boss what had happened, but how? There was a knock on his door and a tan face with a grin of shiny white teeth stepped into his office. “Ready for the meeting, Choly?” He laughed at an untold joke. “Yup,” said Mel, taking a deep breath. “I’m excited, we’ll get to hear how well we worked! And if not, boss always gives the best advice.” As Mel walked past him he gave him a forceful pat on the back. Mel just ignored him. “What’s wrong, friend?” “It’s nothing, Smiley.” The two walked down the hallway and towards the conference room. “Well whatever it is, I’m sure this meeting will cheer you up!” Mel suspected the exact opposite would happen, but he simply sighed. The two stepped into a room where a man and a woman sat at a long table. He and Smiley took seats next to each other, and as they sat dow...